A funny anecdote about Click that happened yesterday:
I have the security settings set fairly high on my Instagram page, mostly because my tolerance for trolling and bull has gone right out the window in the past few years. As a result, I generally don't see IG messages from people I don't follow until they show up in my FB notifications (Meta, and all that jazz.) Anyway.
Thursday night, someone tried to message me on Instagram claiming to be the editor of Billboard Magazine (!), saying that I was the real thing (!!) and that he'd like to get to know me better (!!!). And the spelling and punctuation were...not great. Which is totally what you wouldn't expect from someone who actually did work for Billboard. Or just…not contacting me through the contact page on the website? Writing me an e-mail? Normal person stuff, really?
So I did what any grouchy female who's just put out a song about catfishing would do: I blocked his ass.
Please don't try to catfish a woman who actually wrote a song about catfishers trying to figure out if it's true love or if they're being catfished themselves.
Anyway! Here's Click, for your listening enjoyment….and the lyrics:
My finger’s tracing targets right on my smartphone screen
I don’t care if you’re smart. I just need you to be green!
Been six straight months of scamming, yet you’ve always been so kind
When you shower me with money, honey, I don’t mind!
Isn’t it great, this online dancing?
Second-guessing, circumstancing
It’s a trick when you click
But you gamble when you pick, and when you’ve been used,
just how true is this love to you?
Your portrait picture’s lovely; your smile doesn’t make me wince
And in this stagnant online dating pool I might’ve found a prince
It doesn’t hurt that you’re also gorgeous. This might not end the way I thought --
I planned on taking you for all you had but I’m the one who’s getting caught!
Isn’t it great, this online dancing?
Second-guessing, circumstancing
It’s a trick when you click
But you gamble when you pick, and when you’ve been used,
just how true is this love to you?
HIM: The course of true love is twisted like some Leonard Cohen song
HER: And I wonder when you’ll get I’ve been stringing you along
BOTH: We thought we both were clever… but never ever say never!
This is crazy and it’s risky
You’re not the safest bet
But I’ll take the love I can get
What if this is my greatest gamble yet?
© Patricia Dawn Severenuk, 2023