I realize that New Year's Day was last week, but it's taken me this long to get my thoughts together about what I want the year to look like. I'm blaming this delay on therapy and not living in an anxious state towards the future. (Easier said than done, I know.) So, in the interests of transparency and holding myself to account, here are the five big things that are going to go on this year (note the use of present simple as a fact, rather than as a wish, here), in order to move things forward.
1. The EP is coming out next month. I'm aiming for the 14th (I'm doing the final vocals on "Too Bad About Your Wife" today) and though it feels weird that people can listen to my innermost thoughts, putting out an EP is something I feel I really have to do to keep myself motivated. Even if it's a small-scale project that has zero hopes of breaking even, I know that having something concrete in my hands will keep me going. (Some people can work on academic studies for decades, or spend years doing marathons or bicycle races without ever finishing one of them. I am not one of those people. I'm driven by results.)
2. I learn by doing and by communicating, and I will do more of that. I don't get into the mix enough. I admit it. I should be out more, talking to others, making contacts, hanging out, seeing gigs. I was really good about that at the beginning of the pandemic, I admit it, because I was so socially starved after spending so much time on my own. I need to get back into that, and this is a promise to myself that at least one night a week, if not two, will be spent out meeting people, trying to find collaborators
3. I will be more shameless when marketing. I'm not going to lie: Having to market my own material sends my social anxiety into overdrive and then some, and it's not helped by the amount of radio silence artists get when they send anything out anymore. (Do they hate it? Did the spam filter catch it? Have I said something they find so offensive that they've put a bounty on my head? I mean, who the hell knows, anymore?) It's really only been in the last two or three months that I've realized that if no one honestly cares, no one is going to honestly care that I'm putting myself out there.
4. People want to help. I will be better at accepting help. Another problem with anxiety: assuming no one likes you because no one talks to you, which makes the deeper parts of the brain go into self-protective overdrive. That ends up being at odds with people also being generous in ways that I could never have seen coming. I shouldn't wait until people offer it, though: I vow to be more open to help - and to letting people that I am open and happy to receive help -
5. Not everything is equally useful, so I will let go of the things that are no longer working for me. I can't get into the details quite yet - I'm going to be cagey until plans are set and I have more concrete things to talk about - but there are going to be some seismic shifts in my life this year. A lot of those shifts are going to be pretty big (and not a little bit expensive), so if you find yourself being directly involved in them, please don't get angry or defensive. I'm not changing AT you.
Right: Off to do those vocals. God knows this stuff doesn't get done all by itself.